She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
