6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
