i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
