why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
