i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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