I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
