My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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