piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
