you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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