How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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