I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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