btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
