My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
