lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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