i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
