I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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