there's paper in my vomit.
my shit smells like andre
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
