Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
