spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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