I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
