I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
