Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
