Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
