I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
