Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
