You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize