were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
