we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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