we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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