I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize