Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
babies were throwing up all over the place
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
