You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
