at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
