His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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