I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
