I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
