we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I believe in your delicious
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
