I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
