I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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