I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just puked most of my soul out..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
