And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
