Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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