Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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