i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
