I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
