We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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