Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
