Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we're making bets on your personal life
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
