Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
