He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
