I wish I could punch you in the face.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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