Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
