Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
