I hate all girls vehemently.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
