***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
