I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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