I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
