Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize