Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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