Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
